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Another Way To Tap Away Stress

[Posted September 15th, 2009] by KimRuchAlegant

A couple of months ago, I wrote about a method of stress relief where you make a list of things that are stressing you right now, and you begin to tap on them. Hopefully the tapping begins to reveal events in your past that still have an emotional charge (which means they are still affecting you today), and when you tap on that past event, you release the charge.  The event becomes a non-issue.

See, the thing is, all events are really neutral.  It is YOU who decides whether an event is positive or negative, by your interpretation and your reaction to it.  Or it is the people around us, and we tend to go along with how they feel.  For instance, getting fired from a job may be a horrid thing to one person, but to another it may be a blessing.  The same with a divorce. 

The important thing to remember is that it is YOU who controls your response to a situation.  You can decide to become angry and harbor resentment, or you can decide to recognize that the person who made you so mad was only doing the best that they could, and did not hurt you on purpose.

I know, it is easy to sit here with my computer and write such things.  But once you start to apply it to your life, it is very freeing.  Everything in life is about choice.  Some people are natural optimists, or natural pessimists (is the glass half full or half empty?)  BUT, just because you tend to be one or the other, does not mean that the pessimist cannot turn over a new leaf and begin to make a conscious effort to see things in a more positive light.  I know, because I am a natural born pessimist.  But over the last few years I have begun to be more positive about things.  Of course, in times of stress it is easy to revert to my old ways.  That is why it is important to have constant reminders that it is I who choose my reactions to things.  It is I who chooses whether the glass is half full or half empty.

A guy who does a lot of thinking about being positive (or should I say staying positive) is Jon Gordon.  I saw him speak at the eWomenNetwork conference a few years ago, and bought what I think was his first book called The Energy Addict.  Jon Gordon has written several books about how to be positive (i.e. keep you energy spiraling up instead of down), how to stay positive, and how to hang around with positive people, and how all of this will affect your life for the better.  In fact, I think most, if not all, of the self-help gurus write and talk about how your mindset affects your life. 

Zig Ziglar and even Jeffrey Gittomer (who wrote awesome sales training books) talk about how it is your attitude, or your thoughts, mindset, reactions (whatever you want to call it) which really affect your life and outcomes in your life.  The more positive things you can see in your mind, the more positive things will actually happen outside of your mind.  I don’t mean hallucinating.  I mean interpreting events in a positive way.  This also leads to being able to see the next step.  Like, where to go from here.

So what does tapping (EFT) have to do with any of this?  When you find yourself stuck in focusing on the glass being half empty, you can use tapping to change your energy and change your thoughts about what is going, and so reduce your stress levels (and get that energy spiraling back up).  So, you can tap on “even though I am feeling negative right now, I choose to turn it around and begin to feel positive”, “I choose to see the glass half full”, “even though I can’t see what is good about this situation, I choose to know that soon I will recognize the positive” and other similar phrases.  Or, I choose to start releasing my anger now.

The trick really is remembering to use the tools you have in your toolbox (tapping and others) to make yourself feel better.  The self-help gurus all say to write things on post-its and hang it on your bathroom mirror.  Jeffrey Gittomer even has a system where when something is a goal, it goes on the bathroom mirror.  Once the goal has been achieved, the post-it goes on your bedroom mirror, to remind you of what you have accomplished, and help you feel good.  To help yourself remember to tap, you could always do the post-it method, but hang them where you think you’ll have the opportunity to tap.  If you can tap while you’re on the phone, hang one there.  If you can tap while you are driving, put a post-it in the car.

How are you going to remind yourself to use your positive attitude tools?  Do it now!

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