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Feeling Guilty About Working and Leaving My Kids

[Posted July 19th, 2010] by KimRuchAlegant

I have a conflict-I want to work, I don’t want to work

I know I have felt conflict because I wanted or needed to be working, but I also wanted and needed to be with my children.  This leads to feeling very unfulfilled, because we are never present.  At work our thoughts are with our children and when with our children our thoughts are at work.  Or we feel like we are doing so many things, but we are not doing any of them well.  This leads to more guilt and frustration.

Below are some suggested tapping sequences for these feelings.  Feel free to change the wording for your particular situation, and to do the rounds more than once.  The more you tap, the more relief you will get.  I suggest you tap more on the positive aspects, unless you have some very powerful reactions to the negative aspects.  In that case, keep working on the negative until you feel you have processed it. (If you don’t know how to do this, click here for a video or here for a picture)

KC:  Even though I have this conflict, I want to work, want to be with my kids, I love and accept myself anyway Guilt feels so bad, I don’t want to feel it anymore, maybe I’m ready to let it go.  I accept who I am and how I feel.  Even though I feel the guilt in my body, I love and accept my body anyway

Tapping:
TH: These guilty feelings in my body
EB: If only I didn’t have to work-but I like to work, need to work, I spent all that time in school
SE: I feel guilty but I accept my feelings and they are okay
UE: I like my job but hate leaving my kids
UN: I’m so glad I don’t feel guilty anymore. Yeah right.  I still feel guilty.
CH: Don’t want to let go of my guilt bc I deserve to be punished for leaving them
CB: It’s safe to let go of the guilt. No, it’s not safe to get it go.
UA: I’m carrying around all this guilt because I work. Why do I have to work? Because I need the job. 
TH: My source wants me to give up my guilt.  I intend to get relief from my guilty feelings starting right now

Take a deep breath. Take a drink of water.

If particular thought, emotion or reaction came up, you should make a note of it, and then you can tap on it some more, making up your own phrases. Don’t get caught up in the language.  Just say what you feel, and you will begin working through the emotions.  Once you’re ready, move on to the sequences below.

POSITIVE TAPPING:
TH: I deserve to have what I want!
EB: I can imagine having what I want
SE: I allow myself to have what I want
UE: I can work if I want to
UN: I don’t need to feel guilty about this anymore. 
CB: I like working, and that’s okay
UA: If I let it go, something might change
TH: My kids have turned out pretty damn good
EB: Their faults are their own, they are not because I work
SE: I am enough, there is enough, I’m doing enough
UE: I’m doing the best I can and it is enough
UN: I forgive me, him, her
CB: I accept responsibility for going to work.  It is not damaging my children.
UA: I love feeling good about working
TH: I’m okay just how I am. I accept who I am and how I feel. I love this freedom to feel good.

Take a deep breath. Take a drink of water.  Try to do a couple of tapping rounds each and every day.  If you tap while going to the bathroom, it will help keep you feeling good throughout the day.  You don’t need to say anything.  But you can spend time working with words as well.  Just don’t let the words stop you from tapping.

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