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Disappointment

[Posted February 8th, 2011] by KimRuchAlegant

How do you handle disappointment? I’ve been pondering this the last few days.  You probably know that in addition to being a coach I’m a lawyer who represents people who have been injured.  I was scheduled to start a trial on Monday, February 7th.  I spent the last two weeks preparing for this trial.  I was immersing myself in the case, only to find out the Friday before we were supposed to start that no judge was available.  Monday we found out the next possible trial date is in May.  What a let down!

I wanted this case to go to trial.  I have time and money invested in this case, and I would like there to be a conclusion.  Now I have at least three more months to wait, if not longer. 

So, how do I handle this?  First, I have to make my brain change gears.  This is taking a few days.  I was ready to work all weekend, and suddenly found I had the weekend free. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to watch the Superbowl.  I got to.  My disappointment is offset somewhat by the free time I now have.  So I am of two minds about this.  How do I reconcile these conflicting feelings?

How many times in life do situations happen which have both positive aspects and negative aspects?  All the time!  The old double-edged sword.  Something as major as death or divorce, or something as minor as the store not having the soda we wanted to buy can leave us feeling conflicted.  I’m sad that someone died, but happy that they are no longer in pain.  I will miss them, but I’m happy that I inherited money.  Someone may be happy to get out of a lousy marriage but feel bad because their children no longer have a nuclear family.  I wanted orange crush, but now I have to get ginger ale. Okay, maybe that’s no big deal.

So what are we to do when we feel happy and sad about something?  Conflicting feelings can lead to us feeling guilty about our feelings, which then makes us feel even more sad.  What’s a person to do?  How about some EFT/tapping?

Tapping can help resolve the conflicting feelings we have.  We may be upset because this particular event is reminding us of something which happened in the past.  If that is true, tap on today’s event and then tap on the event in the past.  Or you can tap on “I don’t know what this is reminding me of, but I choose to release these negative memories now.”

So let’s do some tapping on this:

-Think about a situation that you feel conflicted about.  Give it a name, like a movie title.

KC:  Even though I am disappointed and relieved at the same time about {title}, I deeply and completely accept myself.  Even though I wish I wasn’t conflicted about {title}, I love and accept myself anyway.  Even though I feel guilty about this conflict, I choose to start releasing the conflict now.

EB: I’m disappointed and relieved about {title}

SE:  I feel so conflicted

UE: How can I be happy and sad at the same time?

UN: What’s wrong with me?

CH: Am I crazy?

CB:  Maybe I can accept my craziness about {title}

UA: I wish I didn’t feel guilty and conflicted.

TH:  What if I could release this conflict?

 

EB: I’m ready to start releasing my conflicting feelings about {title}

SE:  I accept that I feel conflicted

UE: I forgive myself for being conflicted about {title}

UN: It’s normal to have conflicting feelings

CH: I accept who I am and how I feel

CB:  Feeling more relaxed about {title}

UA: I forgive myself for feeling guilty and conflicted.

TH:  I choose to accept myself anyway.

 

Take a deep breath.  Make sure you are hydrated.  How are you feeling now?  Did you remember what this present event reminds you of?  If so, do some more tapping.  If other feelings came to mind, tap on those feelings too. 

I think one of the biggest blessings that EFT has to offer is that it helps us to accept ourselves, warts and all.  Each of us could probably tap every single day on “Even though I’m not perfect, I love and accept myself anyway” and then using the reminder phrases “I’m not perfect” and “I love/accept myself anyway”.  What do you think?  Are you willing to try it for a week and see if you feel different at the end?    You could write in your journal how accepting you are of yourself, on a scale of 1 to 10.  Then do the tapping every day, and at the end of the week, check in and see where you are. I’d love to hear your results!


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