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Tapping Away Stress

[Posted May 28th, 2009] by KimRuchAlegant

Our inner critic.  Our negative self talk.   The vivid memory of a parent yelling at us, or   hitting us.  The movie which plays on the screen of our mind where our teacher embarrassed us in front of the whole class.  Do any of these sound familiar to you?  And I don’t mean because you read about them in a book sometime, but because these things live inside of you.  If you read those words and thought-yeah, I’ve got that-you have something which can be helped by energy coaching or healing.  The whole premise of coaching is that each of us is perfect the way we are (that brings up more issues for some people!).  But each of us also has had experiences which continue to have an impact on us today, even years after the actual incident happened.  If that impact was positive, like some important tidbit of advice that has served us well, it is great to keep enjoying the help or comfort the experience brought us.  But if an experience was painful, maybe some healing or a change of perspective could occur which would make a big difference in our lives. 

In my work with energy healing, I have worked with people who have pain in a particular part of their body.  When I ask them “If this pain had an emotional cause, what would it be?”  they usually have an immediate answer, but then spend the next few minutes telling me everything they have done to heal themselves from this emotional issue.  But as we continue to discuss the issue while tapping, it becomes obvious by their reaction, whether it be tears or anger, that the issue has not been healed, and there is more work to be done.

Well, you say, I don’t have any pain in my body, so I must not need energy healing.  So I ask you, do you ever suffer from headaches, depression, anxiety?  Ever feel totally stressed?   Ever just feel cranky and you really don’t know why?  If you don’t, you may be right that you don’t need energy healing!  Congratulations!  But if you do, there may be something buried inside you (or should I say stuck, or disrupting your energy?) which could benefit from healing.

So how can you figure out what it is you may want to heal? There are lots of different ways.  Let’s think about one of them now.  Start by tapping while you think about areas of your life which are causing you stress right now.  Start making a list.  EFT or tapping is a wonderful self-help technique that you can do all by yourself.  When issues are buried or stuck a practitioner is helpful, but the wounds that are close to the surface are easily treated on your own.

Back to the list.  As you look at the list, consider what areas of stress have been a recurrent theme in your life.  I don’t necessarily mean the same argument you have with your child or spouse, but over the long stretches of time in your life, what keeps happening over and over? (Of course, we’re talking bad stuff, not good stuff.  It’s great when good stuff keeps happening over and over!)

If the same type of thing which you don’t like has happened to you more than once, maybe some healing would help.  Do you constantly get in a relationship with the same type of person, and this person is toxic to you?  Do you constantly get fired from your jobs?  Do your friends always take advantage of you?  Start tapping on the most recent incident of whatever it is in your life that keeps being repeated.  While you are tapping, it is best to talk out loud about the incident, and particularly what your feelings are around the incident, and what it reminds you of.

Pay special attention to what it reminds you of.  Do you get back to that chastising parent or embarrassing teacher situation?  If so, continue tapping on that specific incident.  How did it look, how did you feel-say out loud as much detail as possible.  The more detail you can bring up here, the more likely you are to begin healing or releasing the incident.  It is this releasing that is going to change your life from here on out.  Once you release something you have been carrying around, it is gone.  It is no longer affecting you, and you should no longer attract that situation into your life.  You will be free to move on and attract different situations!  So, what are you waiting for?


Success and Happiness Now

[Posted May 28th, 2009] by KimRuchAlegant

By Steve Wells, EFT Down Under
www.eftdownunder.com

We have a guest author this month!  Steve Wells is a wonderful healer.  I hope you enjoy this article.

Success and Happiness Now by Steve Wells

The illusion of success is that it is always off in the distance, somewhere else, that place we’d rather be, anywhere but here. You don’t get to feel successful until you are successful, which is after you have done what you think you need to do. So most people feel bad in the present, it isn’t where they think they should be. So they dissociate from it, step away and criticise where they are, or daydream of another reality, anything but the one they have right now.

Do you think of success as some time way off into the future? Then you get to feel unhappy, even miserable, right now.

Do you believe that you don’t deserve to feel good right now, until you have met some criteria for success? Go directly to deep depression. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.

Try this: Simply notice the state you go into when you think of how successful you are right now. If you feel great, fantastic, you know that you already are successful. Go directly to GO. The place where you are right now.

If you feel negative when thinking of how successful you are right now, this can only be because you believe that something else is required in order for you to feel successful. Something you should have, something you should do (or even worse, something that others should do for you), something you should stop doing, or something you should be (which of course, you are not!).

And those beliefs are a prescription for more unhappiness… Unless you consider an alternative definition of success.

Success is not way off into the future. Success is available to you right now. As paradoxical and strange as it may seem, success begins with acceptance of where you are right now.

Barry Kaufman, who wrote Happiness is a Choice, says we believe we have to have reasons to feel happy and successful. So we decide for example that once we have achieved something then we will let ourselves feel happy. First success, then happiness.

So we set a goal for example to buy a new house…

Now according to the rules, we aren’t allowed to feel happy until we have achieved whatever it is that we should achieve, such as once we have moved into that house.

And here’s the worst of it: We believe we have to motivate ourselves to achieve our goals by using pain! So we make ourselves feel unhappy about our current housing situation in order to get ourselves do the things and achieve the things that will (eventually, presumably) make us happy and in the house of our dreams!

But it’s a trap. We are caught up in an endless spiral of misery if we swallow this BS (belief system) about success because when we achieve the thing we are supposed to achieve then we are supposed to set a new, higher goal and never be satisfied where we are because being satisfied with where you are and with what you have is considered deadly for ongoing achievement… So when we move into the house, then we need to furnish it with the right kind of furniture, or decorate it correctly, and make the garden just so…

So we get back on the pain treadmill in an attempt to make ourselves do and achieve some more, all the while motivating ourselves by saying that one day we will get to feel happy once we achieve this new, more challenging, goal, and once our house is perfect…

What’s the solution?

Strange as it may seem, the most powerful thing you can do to become happier and more successful is to accept where you are right now. Unhappiness exists only when we slip away from what is happening to judge what is happening…

As Kaufman states: "Unhappiness does not exist in the present moment! … Unhappiness exists only as a reflection or regret about the past or as an anticipation or worry toward the future. It does not exist right now, in this moment… if we can stay in this moment."

When you go away from this very moment to bring a fear or fantasy or memory into the moment, that becomes your present moment… You separate from what is really happening, you lose contact with the only truth you can really know, what is right here, right now.

Acceptance is not passive, as many people fear, since where you are right now is the starting place to where you will be. I read once that you can go anywhere in the world you want as long as you are willing to start from where you are (source unknown).

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."
– Carl Rogers

But we are reluctant to be where we are; we want to be somewhere better. And when we get there, we’ll find somewhere better than that to pine for. All the while missing the bleeding obvious that we already are where we most need to be right now, and that everything we need is "hidden" right here in this very moment.

One of the great values of tapping is that it can be used to bring you fully into this moment, to release the emotional attachments to being someplace else, to quiet your mind, and to experience the peace and silence from which all creation begins.

"If I love the world as it is I am already changing it: a first fragment of the world has been changed, and that is in my own heart."
– Novelist Petru Dumitriu

You are where you most need to be right now, and everything you need to succeed is contained in this very moment. Don’t miss it.

What do you think? We would love to read your comments. You can make a comment on our blog or the EFT Down Under blog.


Are Feelings of Shame Affecting Your Entire Life, and You Don’t Even Realize It?

[Posted April 8th, 2009] by KimRuchAlegant

I am taking an on-line course by one of the contributors to The Secret, Bill Harris of Centerpointe.  I highly recommend his three online courses.  They really make you think about how you look at life, your values, and how you can achieve everything you want to achieve. It’s recorded so I can listen when I have time.  I have to say I’ve taken probably close to a year off of it, to become a Certified Energy Coach and to launch my businesses of a healing practice and a law practice.  But it felt like time to get back to it, so I did.

One aspect of the lesson I listened to this week dealt with shame.  One of the statements that really caught my attention was something like:  Doing personal development over underlying feelings of shame is like building a house on a foundation of sand.  This struck me as profound.  Is this why some people (I know of several) go from program to program, spending tons of money, hoping to find whatever it is they need to start feeling better?  But it never happens!  Is their shame sabotaging everything they are trying to accomplish?

Bill Harris says the problem with shame is that it can be buried so deeply that we are unaware that it is even there-because we are so ashamed, we don’t want to face it.  We don’t realize we even feel ashamed, and so we can’t process the emotion and let it go. 

Some people hide their shame behind anger, feelings of never being good enough, feeling undeserving of love or money (because they are such a bad person), or other ways like overeating or other addictions (drugs, drinking, smoking, etc.).

Most, if not all of us were shamed as children.  I’d say some of our parents did it intentionally, others did it without really meaning to, but they still did it.  Haven’t you ever yelled at or scolded your child and she seemed to shrink in on herself?  Bet she was feeling ashamed of herself.  Did she internalize that feeling at that time?  Maybe.  Lots of the emotional garbage we carry with us is a result of things that happened when we were wounded as small children.  That child inside of you can be healed with energy healing.

What are you ashamed of?  How do you think those feelings of shame (the ones you know of, or those that are buried) are affecting other aspects of your life?  Because you can be assured that they are.  Any disruption in your energy field (in this case caused by repressed shame) affects all aspects of your life.  So, think about it, journal about it, do some tapping about it (see my website for the points to tap), and call me if you can’t seem to find it, or can’t seem to process it.

Go start releasing that shame, and let me know how it is going!


Life is hard. Right?

[Posted February 3rd, 2009] by KimRuchAlegant

Well, it’s true isn’t it?  Life is hard.  There’s so much to do, so little time.  I don’t have enough hands, or I need to be able to clone myself to get it all done. 

Haven’t we all said many of these and more to ourselves at one time or another?

Well, I have finally come around to the idea that what we think is what we get.  It’s the old “glass half empty” thing, and it’s not just for pessimists any more.  Wait, maybe it is, but it’s just that all of us who feel overwhelmed and underappreciated ARE pessimists.

I mean, all of the richest men in the world, like Warren Buffet (Jimmy Buffet even) and Bill Gates only have the same 24 hours in a day that all of us women have.  Yeah, you say, but they have wives at home to do it “all”-whatever “it” is. But hey, maybe their wives do work and they just HIRE someone to do all that stuff.

That’s what Loral Langemeier, The Millionaire Maker, says to do.  She says that once you start making SOME money, you need to invest some of it in yourself by paying someone to do those annoying, time consuming chores and errands.  She says, how many millionaires do you think do their own laundry and pick up their own dry cleaning?  Not many.  Their time is too valuable, and is better spent ringing the cash register in the business than folding their undies.

What does this have to do with life being hard?  It’s all about our perception, and all about how we talk to ourselves, in the privacy of our own minds.  Some people are brutal on themselves.  If they can’t manage to make home cooked meals, do the laundry and have the house spotless while working 60 hours a week, they feel like a failure.  Get real!

It’s time to change our perception that life is hard.  For those of us with jobs, homes, and families, life is not hard.  Challenging at times, maybe.  People living in a war zone, homeless, in an abusive situation, or starving—now life is hard for those people, and no rose colored glasses are going to make it better.  But even the perception of those people living in a dangerous situation can take a positive spin-and I’ll bet some of them do think that way.  If they can live through today, tomorrow will be better, or something to that effect.  In the Nazi concentration camps, there had to be optimists, or the rest of them would have just given up.

So those of us living privileged lives really need to get over our ideas that life is hard, we have too much to do, etc.  At least we have more to worry about than where our next meal is coming from, or where we are going to sleep tonight.  It’s time to change our perception of our lives.

Where am I going with this?  Energy healing, of course.  How we talk to ourselves is greatly influenced by what we learned as children, and by any traumatic events we survived.  How we talk to ourselves is based on our beliefs.  We have both “good” beliefs that support us and “negative” beliefs that bring us down.  Gary Craig, founder of EFT, calls this the “writing on your walls” in your mind.  The writing is always there, whether you are consciously reading it or not.  Your unconscious is always reading it.  Energy healing modalities such as EFT, ETHOS and Z Point can be used to erase or change the harmful beliefs, and replace them with beliefs that will serve you well in life.

So start paying attention to how you talk to yourself.  Do you tell yourself you’ll never get it done, or you don’t have enough time?  Or you’ll never succeed, never make enough money?  The universe says, “your wish is my command!”  Try reframing your self talk to use positive phrases, and you will be amazed at how much easier life seems, without actually changing a thing!

Life is easy, right?

© 2009 Freedom Healing and Wellness LLC

abstract:  We spend a lot of our lives telling ourselves that life is hard.  How do we change our thoughts to life is easy?  Energy coaching can help.

By Kimberly Ruch-Alegant, Certified Energy Coach, and Owner of Freedom Healing and Wellness, LLC.  We offer individual and group energy coaching services in person and via telephone using EFT, Z Point, and ETHOS Method.  Find us on the web at www.FreedomHealingandWellness.com.  Telephone 215-357-6474.  We also offer introductory energy work classes.  Keynote speaking is available.


What Negative Yuck Are You Carrying Around?

[Posted February 1st, 2009] by KimRuchAlegant

 We all have had negative experiences in our lives.  Sometimes we easily shake off those experiences and move on, unaffected.  Other times, those bad experiences stay with us.

 Did anything ever happen to you that you just can’t get out of your mind?  Maybe you don’t think about it constantly, but it pops up when you least expect it (and always when you do expect it) to make you feel yucky (could be depressed, hurt, angry etc.).  Or can you think of a situation where just thinking about it gives you a headache or makes your stomach hurt?

 The memories of these hurtful situations are a drain on our body’s energy.  Experiences that hurt to remember are like tapes that keep playing over and over in our minds and affect us every day.  In addition, those people who star in those movies continue to have power over you, by your investment so much of your energy into the memory.

 What if you could change the feelings associated with those memories?

 Since I have spent time doing work to clear some of the “yuck” I was carrying around in my head, I am much more able to relax.  I can actually sit down at home and read a book now.  Just one year ago I could not do that.  I could never sit down at home.  I always needed to be doing something.

 Can you relax at home, or do you always need to be doing something?

 If you can’t let yourself relax, you need to take some steps to face what is going on in your head.  Journaling is very helpful.  Writing letters to the stars in your mental movies expressing all your feelings about what happened and then either tearing them up or burning them (DO NOT SEND THEM) is another way to change your perspective of those experiences. Traditional psychotherapy is another approach.

 The methods I have used to clear some of my yuck are EFT, Z Point, and ETHOS Method.  These are ways of working with the body’s energy to release those pent up frustrations, erase those tapes which are playing on unending loops, and altering the interpretation of the events, or the people involved.

 Anyone can benefit from these methods, and all of them can be done by yourself.  All you have to do is some initial research to learn how to do them.  However, sometimes it is helpful to have a practitioner who can guide you through the process, and shine a light into the dark corners of your mine that you don’t want to face by yourself.  Contact us if you need assistance!

 

© 2009 Freedom Healing and Wellness LLC

abstract:  Negative thoughts influence us every day.  What can we do to erase those negative thoughts?  Energy coaching can help.

 

By Kimberly Ruch-Alegant, Certified Energy Coach, and Owner of Freedom Healing and Wellness, LLC.  We offer individual and group energy coaching services in person and via telephone using EFT, Z Point, and ETHOS Method.  Find us on the web at www.FreedomHealingandWellness.com.  Telephone 215-357-6474.  We also offer introductory energy work classes.  Keynote speaking is available.


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