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If You Found a Way to Stop Feeling Mommy Guilt, Would You Do It?

[Posted February 8th, 2011] by KimRuchAlegant

Imagine experiencing motherhood without guilt.

And in this same way, you can eliminate fear, anxiety, depression and weight gain.

TheGuiltyMom.com was created by Kim Ruch-Alegant, a lawyer who was tired of feeling guilty every time she left her children to go to work. 

Do you ever feel ashamed of your guilty feelings?  Like a bad mom? Selfish?  Inadequate? Forgetful? Resentful? 

Using an easy to apply, instant result technique, TheGuiltyMom.com provides moms with a highly effective e-class each week which focuses on releasing every aspect of mommy guilt. 

Do you remember what life felt like before you had kids?  Would you like to finally feel a sense of confidence and security in your parenting?  You can delete this email right now and continue to suffer with your guilt every day.  Or, you can join TheGuiltyMom.com and receive tools TODAY to help you manage, reduce or even eliminate those guilty feelings.

 Join TheGuiltyMom.com and you will:

  • Feel calm and confident
  • Be more present with your children and at work
  • Sleep better
  • Be able to relax and clear your mind
  • Deal with issues more effectively
  • Experience greater clarity
  • Finally feel the peace you’ve been craving for years

Take a look at these comments from people who have worked with Kim personally:

 “Tapping with Kim was a lot like yoga for me – I found I was able to relax, clear my mind and realize the issue at hand and how to address it – releasing the guilt of not being able to be there with both my girls 24/7.” A. Thell., Ardmore, PA

“During the series of tapping sessions I had with Kim I experienced greater clarity about issues that were bothering me. Through the tapping and her insights, I accessed answers.  I was able to move from feeling out of sorts to feeling like I could focus on the issue and take steps to resolve things.”   A. Goyer., Powell, Ohio

“I have to say that EFT worked! I had a past issue that my mind kept re-playing over and over. Since working with Kim, I rarely even think about it. In fact, even when I do it does not emotionally charge me like it used to before EFT. I feel at peace now which is something I had not felt for the last 4 years. You should try it too!” T. Buchakjian, Hatboro, PA

Join at over 90% off our regular fee for the first month! It’s usually $37, you’ll only pay $2.95! Offer good for a limited time.

Click Here To Join Now!

If you act now you’ll get all these freebies valued at hundreds of dollars:

  • Guilt and the Law of Attraction Interview with Bob Doyle, feature teacher in The Secret
  • Till Schilling’s 7 Modules of More Peace and Harmony in the Home
  • Three Part Effortless Wealth videos from Ali Brown
  • Learn How to Network with the Founder of eWomenNetwork, Sandra Yancey

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Disappointment

[Posted February 8th, 2011] by KimRuchAlegant

How do you handle disappointment? I’ve been pondering this the last few days.  You probably know that in addition to being a coach I’m a lawyer who represents people who have been injured.  I was scheduled to start a trial on Monday, February 7th.  I spent the last two weeks preparing for this trial.  I was immersing myself in the case, only to find out the Friday before we were supposed to start that no judge was available.  Monday we found out the next possible trial date is in May.  What a let down!

I wanted this case to go to trial.  I have time and money invested in this case, and I would like there to be a conclusion.  Now I have at least three more months to wait, if not longer. 

So, how do I handle this?  First, I have to make my brain change gears.  This is taking a few days.  I was ready to work all weekend, and suddenly found I had the weekend free. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to watch the Superbowl.  I got to.  My disappointment is offset somewhat by the free time I now have.  So I am of two minds about this.  How do I reconcile these conflicting feelings?

How many times in life do situations happen which have both positive aspects and negative aspects?  All the time!  The old double-edged sword.  Something as major as death or divorce, or something as minor as the store not having the soda we wanted to buy can leave us feeling conflicted.  I’m sad that someone died, but happy that they are no longer in pain.  I will miss them, but I’m happy that I inherited money.  Someone may be happy to get out of a lousy marriage but feel bad because their children no longer have a nuclear family.  I wanted orange crush, but now I have to get ginger ale. Okay, maybe that’s no big deal.

So what are we to do when we feel happy and sad about something?  Conflicting feelings can lead to us feeling guilty about our feelings, which then makes us feel even more sad.  What’s a person to do?  How about some EFT/tapping?

Tapping can help resolve the conflicting feelings we have.  We may be upset because this particular event is reminding us of something which happened in the past.  If that is true, tap on today’s event and then tap on the event in the past.  Or you can tap on “I don’t know what this is reminding me of, but I choose to release these negative memories now.”

So let’s do some tapping on this:

-Think about a situation that you feel conflicted about.  Give it a name, like a movie title.

KC:  Even though I am disappointed and relieved at the same time about {title}, I deeply and completely accept myself.  Even though I wish I wasn’t conflicted about {title}, I love and accept myself anyway.  Even though I feel guilty about this conflict, I choose to start releasing the conflict now.

EB: I’m disappointed and relieved about {title}

SE:  I feel so conflicted

UE: How can I be happy and sad at the same time?

UN: What’s wrong with me?

CH: Am I crazy?

CB:  Maybe I can accept my craziness about {title}

UA: I wish I didn’t feel guilty and conflicted.

TH:  What if I could release this conflict?

 

EB: I’m ready to start releasing my conflicting feelings about {title}

SE:  I accept that I feel conflicted

UE: I forgive myself for being conflicted about {title}

UN: It’s normal to have conflicting feelings

CH: I accept who I am and how I feel

CB:  Feeling more relaxed about {title}

UA: I forgive myself for feeling guilty and conflicted.

TH:  I choose to accept myself anyway.

 

Take a deep breath.  Make sure you are hydrated.  How are you feeling now?  Did you remember what this present event reminds you of?  If so, do some more tapping.  If other feelings came to mind, tap on those feelings too. 

I think one of the biggest blessings that EFT has to offer is that it helps us to accept ourselves, warts and all.  Each of us could probably tap every single day on “Even though I’m not perfect, I love and accept myself anyway” and then using the reminder phrases “I’m not perfect” and “I love/accept myself anyway”.  What do you think?  Are you willing to try it for a week and see if you feel different at the end?    You could write in your journal how accepting you are of yourself, on a scale of 1 to 10.  Then do the tapping every day, and at the end of the week, check in and see where you are. I’d love to hear your results!


Christmas Guilt

[Posted December 8th, 2010] by KimRuchAlegant

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…or is it?  It seems to me that it CAN be the most wonderful, or the worst, time of the year.  It is fun to get together with friends and family (well, maybe on the family part).  It is fun to get out the decorations and the memories that go with them.  The special tree ornaments, or the decoration that someone who is no longer on the planet gave you can bring back fond memories.

But when we spend our time trying to live up to someone else’s expectations, the season can cause guilty feelings.  If the decorations have to be “just so” and the presents have to be “just right”, everyone in the family has to agree on the gathering, and all the food at the party has to be homemade, the guilt and stress just keeps piling on.

So, what can we do about this?  Tapping, of course!  I’ll suggest some tapping sequences. If you have areas of holiday guilt, I don’t mention, please do tap on those areas as well.

Begin tapping:
KC:  Even though I have to make everything perfect for Christmas, I love and accept myself.  Even though I must live up to everyone’s expectations, I accept who I am and how I feel.  Even though I drive myself crazy every year, I love and forgive myself anyway.
TH: If I don’t get it all perfect, I’ll feel guilty.
EB: I’m worried about doing everything just right
SE: They won’t like it if it’s not perfect
UE: It’s only a party if I make all the food myself
UN: I have to have the perfect presents
CN: I have to have the right clothes
CB: We all have to agree on when and where the family will get together
UA: If we don’t all agree it won’t be perfect

Take a deep cleansing breath.  If you have different areas of guilt, tap on them now.

KC: Maybe I can relax and enjoy the holidays this year.  What if I didn’t drive myself crazy? I choose to enjoy myself and my family this year without everything having to be perfect.
TH: What if I could relax?
EB: I can choose to relax and enjoy my holidays
SE: Everything can be good enough, it doesn’t have to be perfect
UE: I like enjoying the holidays
UN: I’m releasing my holiday stress now
CN: I’m doing my best, and that is enough
CB: Everything I do is enough
UA: I love enjoying this season!

Take a deep cleansing breath

Be sure to make time to be by yourself.  While the fun and crowds are great, we all need time to recharge our batteries too.


A Message to Guilty Moms

[Posted October 26th, 2010] by KimRuchAlegant

I’ve launched an amazing new program to help you release your Mommy Guilt and other emotional baggage. My proven results program is based on the simple approach of Tapping. Also known as the Emotional Freedom Technique, tapping is a relaxing technique that takes physical tapping on key points of your body and combines it with recognition of your guilty thoughts and feelings. This allows you to release the negative thoughts and feelings and replace them with positive ones.

I understand Mommy Guilt because I’ve been there. I am a working mom myself to two children and it can get overwhelming to juggle it all AND mentally beat up on yourself at the same time. Once I learned and understood the power tapping had over my guilt, I knew I had to share it with other mommys. I learned more about EFT, became a certified energy coach and have been successfully helping clients ever since. (Click here for an audio recording of a sample tapping session)

This program offers the support of working with a private tapping specialist (me) only from the comfort of your own home, car, where ever you need it. As a member of the program you’ll receive 52-eclasses all geared toward a specific piece of the Mommy guilt puzzle. Included are topics like working outside the home, taking time for yourself and leaving your kids in day care. You’ll also have access to hundreds of other resources in your member area. These include eBooks, expert interviews and videos.  I will be adding to the content every single month, and we will have recorded coaching calls starting in January.

You can become a member and start freeing yourself from your Mommy guilt today. You simply visit my member site www.theguiltymom.com and sign up. You’ll receive a test drive at only $2.95 (a value of $47) to see what it’s all about. After the introductory period you’ll automatically receive your e-classes and continue to have access to your member resource area with monthly billing.

I know this program can help you, just like it helped me. We all suffer from guilt, and the weight of carrying it around keeps you from living the life you should be living. I look forward to helping you conquer your Mommy Guilt and learning to love yourself a little more.


Feeling Guilty About Working and Leaving My Kids

[Posted July 19th, 2010] by KimRuchAlegant

I have a conflict-I want to work, I don’t want to work

I know I have felt conflict because I wanted or needed to be working, but I also wanted and needed to be with my children.  This leads to feeling very unfulfilled, because we are never present.  At work our thoughts are with our children and when with our children our thoughts are at work.  Or we feel like we are doing so many things, but we are not doing any of them well.  This leads to more guilt and frustration.

Below are some suggested tapping sequences for these feelings.  Feel free to change the wording for your particular situation, and to do the rounds more than once.  The more you tap, the more relief you will get.  I suggest you tap more on the positive aspects, unless you have some very powerful reactions to the negative aspects.  In that case, keep working on the negative until you feel you have processed it. (If you don’t know how to do this, click here for a video or here for a picture)

KC:  Even though I have this conflict, I want to work, want to be with my kids, I love and accept myself anyway Guilt feels so bad, I don’t want to feel it anymore, maybe I’m ready to let it go.  I accept who I am and how I feel.  Even though I feel the guilt in my body, I love and accept my body anyway

Tapping:
TH: These guilty feelings in my body
EB: If only I didn’t have to work-but I like to work, need to work, I spent all that time in school
SE: I feel guilty but I accept my feelings and they are okay
UE: I like my job but hate leaving my kids
UN: I’m so glad I don’t feel guilty anymore. Yeah right.  I still feel guilty.
CH: Don’t want to let go of my guilt bc I deserve to be punished for leaving them
CB: It’s safe to let go of the guilt. No, it’s not safe to get it go.
UA: I’m carrying around all this guilt because I work. Why do I have to work? Because I need the job. 
TH: My source wants me to give up my guilt.  I intend to get relief from my guilty feelings starting right now

Take a deep breath. Take a drink of water.

If particular thought, emotion or reaction came up, you should make a note of it, and then you can tap on it some more, making up your own phrases. Don’t get caught up in the language.  Just say what you feel, and you will begin working through the emotions.  Once you’re ready, move on to the sequences below.

POSITIVE TAPPING:
TH: I deserve to have what I want!
EB: I can imagine having what I want
SE: I allow myself to have what I want
UE: I can work if I want to
UN: I don’t need to feel guilty about this anymore. 
CB: I like working, and that’s okay
UA: If I let it go, something might change
TH: My kids have turned out pretty damn good
EB: Their faults are their own, they are not because I work
SE: I am enough, there is enough, I’m doing enough
UE: I’m doing the best I can and it is enough
UN: I forgive me, him, her
CB: I accept responsibility for going to work.  It is not damaging my children.
UA: I love feeling good about working
TH: I’m okay just how I am. I accept who I am and how I feel. I love this freedom to feel good.

Take a deep breath. Take a drink of water.  Try to do a couple of tapping rounds each and every day.  If you tap while going to the bathroom, it will help keep you feeling good throughout the day.  You don’t need to say anything.  But you can spend time working with words as well.  Just don’t let the words stop you from tapping.

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